Adult jokes

By1.A man received message from his neighbour.

"Sorry sir I am using your wife.

I am using day and night.

I am using when u r not present at home.

In fact I am using more than you are using.

I confess this because now I feel very much guilt.
Hope you will accept my sincere apologies."

Man went home and had a big fight with his wife.

Few minutes later he received another massage.

"Sorry Sir, spelling / auto correct mistake ...
it's not wife but WIFI...
😝😝😝😝😝😝

2.
A Boy was driving a car. A girl on scooty overtook him. Boy shouted, “Hey Buffalo” Girl turned back and shouted.. “You donkey, idiot, stupid monkey” Suddenly she had an accident She was hit by a buffalo crossing the road.. MORAL: “Girls never understand what a boy wants to say”…

3. FRIENDLY PAPPA

5 Year old son was crying. Dad came and asked.
Dad: “Why are you crying? Tell me I am your friend na”
Son: “Kuch nahi yaar. Zara sa horlicks kya nai piya, teri ITEM bhadak gayi

4. Day 1
Son: Dad u got called to school
Dad: Y wat happened?
Son: Math teacher asked me wat is 7x9 n I answered 63
Dad: And...
Son: Then she asked wat is 9x7..
Dad: Wats the f#cking difference?
Son: That's exactly wat I said!!
Day 2
Son: Dad did u come to school?
Dad: Nope
Son: OK good cuz the gym teacher wants u to come too..
Dad: Wat happened now?
Son: Well first he asked me to raise my right hand, then my left hand, then my left leg and then my right leg....
Dad: So wat did u have to stand on your d#ck now?
Son: that's exactly wat I said too!!!
Day 3
Son: Were you in school dad?
Dad: No y?
Son: I got expelled...
Dad: Wat the hell happened son?
Son: Well I got called to d princy 's office and the math teacher, gym teacher and art teacher was thr..
Dad: Wat the f#ck was the art teacher doin thr?
Son: Thats exactly wat I asked!!!!!!!!!!!

5. Water and whisky

A mother was teaching his child abt d side effects of alcohol.
.
She gets 2 short glasses, filling 1 wid water nd other wid whiskey.
.
She puts a worm in d water nd it swims around.
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She puts a worm in d whiskey nd d worm dies immediately.
.
She thn says, feeling that she has made her point clear.
.
"What do u hv to say abt this experiment?".
.
The child responds by saying, "if i drink whiskey, i won't get worms"😂😉😜

6.
Mom:" Son, get up its time to go to College..
Son:" No Maa.. I don't want
to go to college..
.
.
Mom:" Give me 2 reasons why don't u want to go to college..
Son: "1. All students hate me..
2. All staff hates me..
.
.
Mom:" Ooh! That's not a reason..
Come on, U must go to college..
Son:" Give me 2 reasons why I should go 2 college..
.
.
Mom:" 1. U are 47 years old..
2. U are the Principal of the college..:P :D😂😂😂

7
Tea is dangerous than whisky.
.
Please avoid drinking tea.
.
.
I discovered it yesterday.
.
.
Last night, I had 8 pegs of whisky at the pub while my wife was having tea at home.
.
.
.
You should have seen how violent and angry she was
when I went home and i was absolutely Cool...
;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;)

8.

5 year old son.....after reading story of a king.....

Son:......Mom, I also want 5 wives.....one will cook, one will sing, one will bathe me.......

Mom:....And one will put you to sleep

Son:..No mom, i will still sleep with you

Mom's eyes filled up with tears ... God bless you son

Mom:...but who will sleep with your 5 wives

Son...Let them sleep with daddy

Daddy's eyes filled up with tears... God bless you son !😂😂☺☺☺